- In Search of Shadow and Spirit#
- We are a modern day shadow catcher and wagon master. Mary Ann with her digital camera and lenses, and I with our 400 horse F-150 and 19’ trailer. Together, we have been thankful for the opportunity to travel the west and experience her landscapes and people. On this particular adventure we had a mission, to return to Canyon de Chelly and hire a native Dineh guide- referred to by our culture as Navajo- to take us into that beautiful enchanted canyon that has been home to so many different native people. And we had a few delightful surprises along the way.#
- Driving is good for the soul- it gives you time to think deeply and bring to the surface what the modern world tends to cover up. On this drive I was thinking about our relationship with each other, as people- person-to-person. We are social creatures, evolved to live in community, and our brains are wired to help us, although in todays world that wiring can also hurt us. Our relationship with the First Peoples is, well, conflicted to say the least. Tangled up in that messy ball are the mythic portrayals of the American West, ideas about what is savage and noble, conflicting versions of nature and god, and of course ownership of land and access to natural resources. #
- Thinking on these things, I listened to the emotions stirring in my body. I could feel a sense of embarrassment and shame for the pain of so many conquerers over the ages. A degree of grief and sadness in the loss of loved ones in fights to defend ways of living and land. Some remorse and empathy as I considered how wealth is accrued, or not- depending on where you are born, and to whom. But as I was beginning to dwell on equanimity, my attention was snapped to full alert as we climbed a hill and the snowflakes began to fall.#
- I feared the remaining one hour drive to the canyon would become a full day ordeal. As we neared the pass, the snow became a howling blizzard with wipers struggling to keep the windows clear. This is not good when towing a trailer and I kept it slow. But as we descended into the final valley and searched for our campground, the snow diminished and the clouds began to part revealing the beauty of bare cottonwood trees enshrouded in snow with the rays of a setting sun alight on their frozen limbs. We had arrived, and we were excited.#
- Canyon De Chelly and Canyon Del Muerto#
- We awoke early to a bluebird day full of promise. Freezing cold and crystal clear. the soft glow of the sun was just peaking over the hills. Only one other camper braved the elements to join us at Cottonwood Campground right next to the canyon. Perfect.#
- The first westerners to come upon the canyon and it inhabitants were the Spanish. Later when Americans tried to read the written Spanish name, Canyon De “Tseyi” became De “Chelly,”pronounced today as Canyon De “Shay.” Like branches of a tree, there are actually two main canyons, the second being Canyon Del Muerto- which means dead in Spanish (and indeed many Spanish were killed there at Massacre Cave when they climbed the cliff walls to attack the inhabitants.)#
- There is no hint of the canyons from a distance. They are like a crack in the earth you come upon suddenly and peer over the edge. Deep time and geological forces formed this landscape; crashing tectonic plates deep underground lifted the land, while torrential rain fall carried away the softer earth materials to expose red cliffs worn smooth by wind and textured by the swirl of vortices. Topophilia is a strange word that comes to mind, it means love of landscape. This is a place that is easy to love. It takes your breath away when you gaze upon it and marvel at creation, the ever-changing patterns of beauty tickle your minds eye. #
- The place where the two canyons join together into the mainstream of Canyon De Chelly is logically named Junction, and that is where we experienced our first magical surprise of the day. Junction is a fairly smooth rocky plateau overlooking the canyon, and the ages have weathered small shallow bowls in the landscape which were filled with frozen water. Perfect for photography in this weather, and Mary Ann was off to capture reflections of canyon walls and clouds floating in the deep blue sky. And then it happened…#
- Dineh Spirits Embrace Us#
- Alone, not a tourist about, all of a sudden Mary Ann was surrounded by curious, suspicious dogs. Half a dozen at least, and she shot me that look that says “get over here now!” I delayed just long enough to secure Priya in the truck and began rushing across the frozen rocky plateau when we both saw a herd of sheep emerge from the brush, followed by their Dineh shepherd. He indicated they were good dogs and we both relaxed. Mary Ann set about capturing the moment with sheep, dogs and frozen pools of water. And I walked over to the shepherd.#
- Here was an old man, moving slowly. His face weathered dark, cracked and red, just like the canyon. As I approached we both smiled and I saw he had but few teeth. And as he smiled he pulled out a rock from his pocket and asked if I wanted to buy it? He told me he had painted it and it was the only one he had on him. How much, $20. Sure I said and dug through my wallet. He turned the rock over and showed me his signature, Clarence Dawes.#
- We spoke for awhile and I heard his story. The sheep were there for the water, busting through the iced pools to get a drink wherever possible. This is dry country and the locals know how to take advantage of every bit of water. Clarence told me his grandfather was a soldier in WWII. Not a code talker, but a fighter. I asked if he was Dineh, and he told me he was Blackfeet and Dineh. I know the Blackfeet were fierce warriors and he smiled when I told him so. He had married into the Dawes family and taken the name of his Dineh wife, as is the way with matriarchal cultures. We spoke slowly, sharing a little time together- but the sheep were moving on, so after posing for a photograph, Clarence and I shook hands and said good bye. The last I saw of him, he was getting out of the wind behind a brush, lighting a smoke.#
- We were excited to have had such a unique opportunity- snow and ice, rock and canyon, Dineh sheep and shepherd, all under a blue sky. So we resumed our adventure, heading off to the next spot along the rim overlooking the canyon. Here we found our first couple of tourist, who were ignoring the van was backed in with its rear door open. I could see a Dineh rug hangin out the back, and a young energetic Dineh man emerged and soon engaged Mary Ann in conversation. Again she shot me that look, this one signaling I needed to extract her from this tourist trap! Naturally, I went over to join in the conversation and realized immediately I was dealing with a talented charismatic salesman! He had three painting to show us in the back of the van as he proceeded to draw us into his story.#
- Growing up a shy young Dineh hiding behind his mother, he told us how he had come out of his shell by relearning the ancient ways from his elders and how to interpret the meaning of their art. He explained the symbols on his painting and told us we could find him on Google and Youtube where he tells his story and explains the symbols in more detail. Of course I was going to buy a painting from him- he was a hoot and we hit it off. Out came my wallet again, but I was running low on cash, and asked Mary Ann what she had? I explained I had spent a little money up the road with a Shepherd at Junction and he asked if it was Clarence. Yes it was, and he told me Clarence was his grandfather! Canyon De Chelly was a big place he said, but everyone in it is connected. When he offered to pose for the photograph, I retrieved Clarence’s rock from the truck for him to hold with his own painting. He made sure we knew how to spell his name so we could look him up on the internet, then we said shook hands goodbye. Antonio Carroll - with two R’s and two L’s.#
- Now we had met grandfather and grandson and were happy to talk with them. Mary Ann had captured their shadows, and I have their paintings in my studio. I reflected on my own Grandfather, Leo “Clarence” Beckwith. Leo was a country man. Of the many gifts he gave me, one was knowing how to meet people- anyone, and talk with them out of respect, and how to shake their hand.#
- Shadows Cast Light in the Dark#
- Another bluebird morning followed with air fresh and crisp. Our breath was visible as we walked to our meeting spot with our native guide. Awaiting us were a classic red 4WD jeep and Benjamin Anagal of Beauty Way Tours. He was about my age, but much larger and looked older, his face was round, with a large nose and gentle eyes. I noticed he had no ear lobes, rather a large fold of skin that stretched from his ear half way down his neck- all of it beaten by years in wind and sun. Benjamin filled the Jeep- his large belly pressing against the round steering wheel held him firmly in place as we bounced down the tire rutted stream bed. I liked Benjamin from the first moment we spoke on the phone, and grew to like him even more during the several hours we spent together as he guided us through the riverbed of Canyon de Chelly.#
- Benjamin grew up in the canyon, his family has property at Junction, where Canyon de Merde meets Canyon de Chelly (at the same place we had met Antonio up above on the rim the day before.) His Aunt lives there now- the only person that lives in the canyon year around- not just battling the winter, but also protecting her sheep from Mountain Lions and Black Bear. Benjamin showed us where he grew up, beneath ancient ruins of the Anasazi people, the settlements where they lived and left their marks. He described how his family moved around, shifting their livestock from the mountains in the fall and back into the canyon in the spring. His first language was Dineh, and we learned he too had been taken off the reservation to attend boarding school where he was forced to give up his ways and adopt English.#
- I speculate that Benjamin has been relatively successful by Dineh standards. He has been guiding since 1989, first part time while working other jobs, and full time for the last two decades. The pandemic hit the reservation hard, not just economically, but in the loss of friends and family. He told me he now has a Hogan (house) about 8 miles above the canyon where he keeps horses. He rents the horses out to other Dineh that use them to round up cattle or guide tourists like myself into the canyon.#
- Benjamin spoke slowly, and poetically. He was respectful when speaking of the scientific knowledge of experts like geologist and anthropologist, and reverential when sharing the spiritual knowledge passed to him by his ancestors. As he showed us the pictographs and petroglyphs that adorned the canyon walls, he explained the difference and what they meant to the the people that had left their marks. He spoke of a complex web of life that have been evolving in the canyon since the age of the Pyramids, and continues to this day.#
- We learned how deer were run down, exhausted and trapped in box canyons, to be killed by covering their mouth and suffocating them by hand. That was the way if they were to be used in sacred rituals, otherwise spears, arrows and later guns were used, if for meat. We learned that Massacre cave is so named for the brutal slaughter of women and children by the Spanish Conquistators while the men were away on a hunting trip, but also how the brave Dineh woman had fought the Spanish in hand to hand combat, dragging them off the cliff to fall nearly a thousand feed to their death in suicidal combat to protect their children. We learned the legend of Spider Rock, and the Spider Woman who lived there and punished misbehaving children by carrying them to the top and spinning her web to entrap them. And we learned of how Kit Carson and the army attacked the Dineh destroying their crops and killing all livestock to starve them out of the canyons and force them on the Long Walk to reservations.#
- We also learned that these struggles continue today. The Dineh are but the most recent people to occupy Canyon De Chelly. Before them, the Hopi had lived there- but the Dineh drove them off and took the land for themselves. We were told that even today the conflict between Hopi and Dineh over land continues- as it has between “us and them” since the white man appeared on this continent. And the struggle continues in the landscape itself, with battles against invasive species such as Russian Olive trees which were brought in for flood control, but have grown like weeds. And the challenges of an ever-changing river bottom from the summer monsoons which flood the canyons.#
- Our time with Benjamin was short. And while there were great photo opportunities, we really treasured the stories he imparted to us and his manner doing so. Canyon De Chelly and Del Mureto are much more meaningful places to us now. Leaving the landscape and few Dineh that we have met for such a brief time leaves me with a sense of our impermanence. Perhaps I should quit thinking of these people as “the first people” and we as the ones that colonized them and put them on to reservations- although that is true. While here I have been empathetic to the economic challenges of building wealth in a remote place like this, where jobs are few and the land values don’t rise because it is a reservation and the canyon itself is federally protected property. It is difficult to “get ahead” here.#
- But who am I to judge the lives of these people. Thinking of all the crazy things going on in our world, there is a good chance they will survive deeper into the future. They have been toughened to adapt their ways to a changing world, and live in this unforgiving landscape. When all that we have, melts into air, perhaps they will still be here? But I am also left with a strengthening of the sense that regardless of our governments, and the competition between men, we are all “the people.” I continue in my own beliefs that we are all embedded within a beautiful biosphere, living on earth and sharing a common story of creation. I am happy to carry away a simple rock painting, a small canvas painting, and some wonderful photographs by Mary Ann. But most of all, a few memories of some interesting people- people that ultimately are no different than me- each unique and beautiful in their own way. As I drive away, the emotion of equanimity grows slowly stronger, because we showed them the respect they deserve.#
- In Search of Shadow and Spirit#
- We are a modern day shadow catcher and wagon master. Mary Ann with her digital camera and lenses, and I with our 400 horse F-150 and 19’ trailer. Together, we have been thankful for the opportunity to travel the west and experience her landscapes and people. On this particular adventure we had a mission, to return to Canyon de Chelly and hire a native Dineh guide- referred to by our culture as Navajo- to take us into that beautiful enchanted canyon that has been home to so many different native people. And we had a few delightful surprises along the way.#
- Driving is good for the soul- it gives you time to think deeply and bring to the surface what the modern world tends to cover up. On this drive I was thinking about our relationship with each other, as people- person-to-person. We are social creatures, evolved to live in community, and our brains are wired to help us, although in todays world that wiring can also hurt us. Our relationship with the First Peoples is, well, conflicted to say the least. Tangled up in that messy ball are the mythic portrayals of the American West, ideas about what is savage and noble, conflicting versions of nature and god, and of course ownership of land and access to natural resources. #
- Thinking on these things, I listened to the emotions stirring in my body. I could feel a sense of embarrassment and shame for the pain of so many conquerers over the ages. A degree of grief and sadness in the loss of loved ones in fights to defend ways of living and land. Some remorse and empathy as I considered how wealth is accrued, or not- depending on where you are born, and to whom. But as I was beginning to dwell on equanimity, my attention was snapped to full alert as we climbed a hill and the snowflakes began to fall.#
- I feared the remaining one hour drive to the canyon would become a full day ordeal. As we neared the pass, the snow became a howling blizzard with wipers struggling to keep the windows clear. This is not good when towing a trailer and I kept it slow. But as we descended into the final valley and searched for our campground, the snow diminished and the clouds began to part revealing the beauty of bare cottonwood trees enshrouded in snow with the rays of a setting sun alight on their frozen limbs. We had arrived, and we were excited.#
- Canyon De Chelly and Canyon Del Muerto#
- We awoke early to a bluebird day full of promise. Freezing cold and crystal clear. the soft glow of the sun was just peaking over the hills. Only one other camper braved the elements to join us at Cottonwood Campground right next to the canyon. Perfect.#
- The first westerners to come upon the canyon and it inhabitants were the Spanish. Later when Americans tried to read the written Spanish name, Canyon De “Tseyi” became De “Chelly,”pronounced today as Canyon De “Shay.” Like branches of a tree, there are actually two main canyons, the second being Canyon Del Muerto- which means dead in Spanish (and indeed many Spanish were killed there at Massacre Cave when they climbed the cliff walls to attack the inhabitants.)#
- There is no hint of the canyons from a distance. They are like a crack in the earth you come upon suddenly and peer over the edge. Deep time and geological forces formed this landscape; crashing tectonic plates deep underground lifted the land, while torrential rain fall carried away the softer earth materials to expose red cliffs worn smooth by wind and textured by the swirl of vortices. Topophilia is a strange word that comes to mind, it means love of landscape. This is a place that is easy to love. It takes your breath away when you gaze upon it and marvel at creation, the ever-changing patterns of beauty tickle your minds eye. #
- The place where the two canyons join together into the mainstream of Canyon De Chelly is logically named Junction, and that is where we experienced our first magical surprise of the day. Junction is a fairly smooth rocky plateau overlooking the canyon, and the ages have weathered small shallow bowls in the landscape which were filled with frozen water. Perfect for photography in this weather, and Mary Ann was off to capture reflections of canyon walls and clouds floating in the deep blue sky. And then it happened…#
- Dineh Spirits Embrace Us#
- Alone, not a tourist about, all of a sudden Mary Ann was surrounded by curious, suspicious dogs. Half a dozen at least, and she shot me that look that says “get over here now!” I delayed just long enough to secure Priya in the truck and began rushing across the frozen rocky plateau when we both saw a herd of sheep emerge from the brush, followed by their Dineh shepherd. He indicated they were good dogs and we both relaxed. Mary Ann set about capturing the moment with sheep, dogs and frozen pools of water. And I walked over to the shepherd.#
- Here was an old man, moving slowly. His face weathered dark, cracked and red, just like the canyon. As I approached we both smiled and I saw he had but few teeth. And as he smiled he pulled out a rock from his pocket and asked if I wanted to buy it? He told me he had painted it and it was the only one he had on him. How much, $20. Sure I said and dug through my wallet. He turned the rock over and showed me his signature, Clarence Dawes.#
- We spoke for awhile and I heard his story. The sheep were there for the water, busting through the iced pools to get a drink wherever possible. This is dry country and the locals know how to take advantage of every bit of water. Clarence told me his grandfather was a soldier in WWII. Not a code talker, but a fighter. I asked if he was Dineh, and he told me he was Blackfeet and Dineh. I know the Blackfeet were fierce warriors and he smiled when I told him so. He had married into the Dawes family and taken the name of his Dineh wife, as is the way with matriarchal cultures. We spoke slowly, sharing a little time together- but the sheep were moving on, so after posing for a photograph, Clarence and I shook hands and said good bye. The last I saw of him, he was getting out of the wind behind a brush, lighting a smoke.#
- We were excited to have had such a unique opportunity- snow and ice, rock and canyon, Dineh sheep and shepherd, all under a blue sky. So we resumed our adventure, heading off to the next spot along the rim overlooking the canyon. Here we found our first couple of tourist, who were ignoring the van was backed in with its rear door open. I could see a Dineh rug hangin out the back, and a young energetic Dineh man emerged and soon engaged Mary Ann in conversation. Again she shot me that look, this one signaling I needed to extract her from this tourist trap! Naturally, I went over to join in the conversation and realized immediately I was dealing with a talented charismatic salesman! He had three painting to show us in the back of the van as he proceeded to draw us into his story.#
- Growing up a shy young Dineh hiding behind his mother, he told us how he had come out of his shell by relearning the ancient ways from his elders and how to interpret the meaning of their art. He explained the symbols on his painting and told us we could find him on Google and Youtube where he tells his story and explains the symbols in more detail. Of course I was going to buy a painting from him- he was a hoot and we hit it off. Out came my wallet again, but I was running low on cash, and asked Mary Ann what she had? I explained I had spent a little money up the road with a Shepherd at Junction and he asked if it was Clarence. Yes it was, and he told me Clarence was his grandfather! Canyon De Chelly was a big place he said, but everyone in it is connected. When he offered to pose for the photograph, I retrieved Clarence’s rock from the truck for him to hold with his own painting. He made sure we knew how to spell his name so we could look him up on the internet, then we said shook hands goodbye. Antonio Carroll - with two R’s and two L’s.#
- Now we had met grandfather and grandson and were happy to talk with them. Mary Ann had captured their shadows, and I have their paintings in my studio. I reflected on my own Grandfather, Leo “Clarence” Beckwith. Leo was a country man. Of the many gifts he gave me, one was knowing how to meet people- anyone, and talk with them out of respect, and how to shake their hand.#
- Shadows Cast Light in the Dark#
- Another bluebird morning followed with air fresh and crisp. Our breath was visible as we walked to our meeting spot with our native guide. Awaiting us were a classic red 4WD jeep and Benjamin Anagal of Beauty Way Tours. He was about my age, but much larger and looked older, his face was round, with a large nose and gentle eyes. I noticed he had no ear lobes, rather a large fold of skin that stretched from his ear half way down his neck- all of it beaten by years in wind and sun. Benjamin filled the Jeep- his large belly pressing against the round steering wheel held him firmly in place as we bounced down the tire rutted stream bed. I liked Benjamin from the first moment we spoke on the phone, and grew to like him even more during the several hours we spent together as he guided us through the riverbed of Canyon de Chelly.#
- Benjamin grew up in the canyon, his family has property at Junction, where Canyon de Merde meets Canyon de Chelly (at the same place we had met Antonio up above on the rim the day before.) His Aunt lives there now- the only person that lives in the canyon year around- not just battling the winter, but also protecting her sheep from Mountain Lions and Black Bear. Benjamin showed us where he grew up, beneath ancient ruins of the Anasazi people, the settlements where they lived and left their marks. He described how his family moved around, shifting their livestock from the mountains in the fall and back into the canyon in the spring. His first language was Dineh, and we learned he too had been taken off the reservation to attend boarding school where he was forced to give up his ways and adopt English.#
- I speculate that Benjamin has been relatively successful by Dineh standards. He has been guiding since 1989, first part time while working other jobs, and full time for the last two decades. The pandemic hit the reservation hard, not just economically, but in the loss of friends and family. He told me he now has a Hogan (house) about 8 miles above the canyon where he keeps horses. He rents the horses out to other Dineh that use them to round up cattle or guide tourists like myself into the canyon.#
- Benjamin spoke slowly, and poetically. He was respectful when speaking of the scientific knowledge of experts like geologist and anthropologist, and reverential when sharing the spiritual knowledge passed to him by his ancestors. As he showed us the pictographs and petroglyphs that adorned the canyon walls, he explained the difference and what they meant to the the people that had left their marks. He spoke of a complex web of life that have been evolving in the canyon since the age of the Pyramids, and continues to this day.#
- We learned how deer were run down, exhausted and trapped in box canyons, to be killed by covering their mouth and suffocating them by hand. That was the way if they were to be used in sacred rituals, otherwise spears, arrows and later guns were used, if for meat. We learned that Massacre cave is so named for the brutal slaughter of women and children by the Spanish Conquistators while the men were away on a hunting trip, but also how the brave Dineh woman had fought the Spanish in hand to hand combat, dragging them off the cliff to fall nearly a thousand feed to their death in suicidal combat to protect their children. We learned the legend of Spider Rock, and the Spider Woman who lived there and punished misbehaving children by carrying them to the top and spinning her web to entrap them. And we learned of how Kit Carson and the army attacked the Dineh destroying their crops and killing all livestock to starve them out of the canyons and force them on the Long Walk to reservations.#
- We also learned that these struggles continue today. The Dineh are but the most recent people to occupy Canyon De Chelly. Before them, the Hopi had lived there- but the Dineh drove them off and took the land for themselves. We were told that even today the conflict between Hopi and Dineh over land continues- as it has between “us and them” since the white man appeared on this continent. And the struggle continues in the landscape itself, with battles against invasive species such as Russian Olive trees which were brought in for flood control, but have grown like weeds. And the challenges of an ever-changing river bottom from the summer monsoons which flood the canyons.#
- Our time with Benjamin was short. And while there were great photo opportunities, we really treasured the stories he imparted to us and his manner doing so. Canyon De Chelly and Del Mureto are much more meaningful places to us now. Leaving the landscape and few Dineh that we have met for such a brief time leaves me with a sense of our impermanence. Perhaps I should quit thinking of these people as “the first people” and we as the ones that colonized them and put them on to reservations- although that is true. While here I have been empathetic to the economic challenges of building wealth in a remote place like this, where jobs are few and the land values don’t rise because it is a reservation and the canyon itself is federally protected property. It is difficult to “get ahead” here.#
- But who am I to judge the lives of these people. Thinking of all the crazy things going on in our world, there is a good chance they will survive deeper into the future. They have been toughened to adapt their ways to a changing world, and live in this unforgiving landscape. When all that we have, melts into air, perhaps they will still be here? But I am also left with a strengthening of the sense that regardless of our governments, and the competition between men, we are all “the people.” I continue in my own beliefs that we are all embedded within a beautiful biosphere, living on earth and sharing a common story of creation. I am happy to carry away a simple rock painting, a small canvas painting, and some wonderful photographs by Mary Ann. But most of all, a few memories of some interesting people- people that ultimately are no different than me- each unique and beautiful in their own way. As I drive away, the emotion of equanimity grows slowly stronger, because we showed them the respect they deserve.#