- (4 min read)#
- An executive uses their executive key to unlock the executive washroom and do executive things. They flush. Sewage sprays everywhere. #
- They put out a call for help. "Maintenance! The bathroom is broken!" #
- Maintenance, of course, has no idea what the problem is. It could be anything. There's lots of parts to a bathroom that could break. Maybe the lights are out, or something. Last time, it was the soap dispenser.#
- Because they've seen this sort of thing before—executives smelling like shit, yelling about things, this happens more often than executives would rather admit—maintenance knows enough to ask: "What is broken?" #
- The executive, quickly realizing that maintenance has not already fixed the problem, clarifies. "There is SHIT EVERYWHERE. You have got to FIX IT. What is wrong with you people?"#
- Maintenance is a little nonplussed, but at least this is something they can work with. Could be a burst pipe. Could be a toilet. There was that elk thing last year. "Can you tell us what happened?"#
- This executive is extremely helpful, and provides a clear set of steps to reproduce the problem: "I FLUSHED THE TOILET AND NOW THERE IS SHIT EVERYWHERE." #
- Aha! Now maintenance can go fix the problem, because they know what's wrong. They have repro steps. And repro steps are fucking magic. #
- If you have repro steps, you can prove that you have fixed the problem. And then, you can go home and do fun things that aren't work. Because repro steps allow anybody, even an executive, to verify that something is fixed. All you have to do is follow the steps. It is the closest thing you will find in life to an actual guarantee.#
- This is literally what science is. That's how magic I am talking: Repro steps are literal science magic. This is how things stay up in the air when we want them to. This is how your light switch works. This is how vaccines get made.#
- Here is the problem, written up in repro steps:#
- Steps to reproduce#
- Flush toilet#
- What happens#
- Shit goes everywhere#
- What should happen#
- Shit does not go everywhere#
- Maintenance gets to the executive washroom, and uses the maintenance key, which is actually better than the executive key, but they don't say that because it's not good for your career to point out, well, literally anything that might make an executive the least bit uncomfortable.#
- So they go up to the toilet, and they disassemble it, and do whatever toilet-fixing thing I'm going to hand-wave away here. But whatever it is, when they're done, that toilet is guaranteed to work perfectly. #
- How do we know that? Because we have a clear set of steps to reproduce the problem: Flush the toilet, and if shit doesn't go everywhere, it's fixed!#
- Maintenance flushes the toilet, shit doesn't go everywhere. It's fixed! #
- The executive is duly informed, accompanied by profuse apologies and whatever other genuflecting this particular executive requires to maintain their executive decision-making powers. Maintenance does not care about the ritual abasement and propitiation because they know for a fact they have fixed this. They go home and do fun things.#
- Later, the executive uses their executive key to unlock the executive washroom and do executive things. They flush. Sewage sprays everywhere.#
- What just happened?#
- In this little parable, that toilet was absolutely working. We know for a fact that toilet works properly, because maintenance knew what to look for. #
- With prodding, maintenance was able to extract from the executive a clearly stated set of steps that allow anyone to determine precisely if the toilet is working. Even an executive could verify that toilet was working to spec. #
- This was literally the test being applied by the executive when the shit went everywhere, again. This is a failure mode which has been known to directly affect your ability to do fun things at home without worrying how you will pay your kid's doctor.#
- There is no doubt about the correct behavior. And that toilet flushed absolutely fine. No shit anywhere. So what the fuck just happened?#
- Well, see, there are two toilets in that executive washroom. #
- Maintenance verified it was fixed. What maintenance didn’t do was verify it was broken.#
- And now an executive got covered in shit, which is literally the worst possible thing that can happen. That is the truest statement in this entire little parable, but the next two are the ones that will keep your family living indoors: #
- First, reproduce the problem. If you can’t get it to fail on purpose, you cannot possibly know for sure if you fixed it.#
- Second, get a union. Just because an executive gets covered in shit doesn't mean you have to be the one to pay for it, every single fucking time. Sometimes, it's their own goddamn fault. There was that elk thing last year.... #
- (4 min read)#
- An executive uses their executive key to unlock the executive washroom and do executive things. They flush. Sewage sprays everywhere. #
- They put out a call for help. "Maintenance! The bathroom is broken!" #
- Maintenance, of course, has no idea what the problem is. It could be anything. There's lots of parts to a bathroom that could break. Maybe the lights are out, or something. Last time, it was the soap dispenser.#
- Because they've seen this sort of thing before—executives smelling like shit, yelling about things, this happens more often than executives would rather admit—maintenance knows enough to ask: "What is broken?" #
- The executive, quickly realizing that maintenance has not already fixed the problem, clarifies. "There is SHIT EVERYWHERE. You have got to FIX IT. What is wrong with you people?"#
- Maintenance is a little nonplussed, but at least this is something they can work with. Could be a burst pipe. Could be a toilet. There was that elk thing last year. "Can you tell us what happened?"#
- This executive is extremely helpful, and provides a clear set of steps to reproduce the problem: "I FLUSHED THE TOILET AND NOW THERE IS SHIT EVERYWHERE." #
- Aha! Now maintenance can go fix the problem, because they know what's wrong. They have repro steps. And repro steps are fucking magic. #
- If you have repro steps, you can prove that you have fixed the problem. And then, you can go home and do fun things that aren't work. Because repro steps allow anybody, even an executive, to verify that something is fixed. All you have to do is follow the steps. It is the closest thing you will find in life to an actual guarantee.#
- This is literally what science is. That's how magic I am talking: Repro steps are literal science magic. This is how things stay up in the air when we want them to. This is how your light switch works. This is how vaccines get made.#
- Here is the problem, written up in repro steps:#
- Steps to reproduce#
- Flush toilet#
- What happens#
- Shit goes everywhere#
- What should happen#
- Shit does not go everywhere#
- Maintenance gets to the executive washroom, and uses the maintenance key, which is actually better than the executive key, but they don't say that because it's not good for your career to point out, well, literally anything that might make an executive the least bit uncomfortable.#
- So they go up to the toilet, and they disassemble it, and do whatever toilet-fixing thing I'm going to hand-wave away here. But whatever it is, when they're done, that toilet is guaranteed to work perfectly. #
- How do we know that? Because we have a clear set of steps to reproduce the problem: Flush the toilet, and if shit doesn't go everywhere, it's fixed!#
- Maintenance flushes the toilet, shit doesn't go everywhere. It's fixed! #
- The executive is duly informed, accompanied by profuse apologies and whatever other genuflecting this particular executive requires to maintain their executive decision-making powers. Maintenance does not care about the ritual abasement and propitiation because they know for a fact they have fixed this. They go home and do fun things.#
- Later, the executive uses their executive key to unlock the executive washroom and do executive things. They flush. Sewage sprays everywhere.#
- What just happened?#
- In this little parable, that toilet was absolutely working. We know for a fact that toilet works properly, because maintenance knew what to look for. #
- With prodding, maintenance was able to extract from the executive a clearly stated set of steps that allow anyone to determine precisely if the toilet is working. Even an executive could verify that toilet was working to spec. #
- This was literally the test being applied by the executive when the shit went everywhere, again. This is a failure mode which has been known to directly affect your ability to do fun things at home without worrying how you will pay your kid's doctor.#
- There is no doubt about the correct behavior. And that toilet flushed absolutely fine. No shit anywhere. So what the fuck just happened?#
- Well, see, there are two toilets in that executive washroom. #
- Maintenance verified it was fixed. What maintenance didn’t do was verify it was broken.#
- And now an executive got covered in shit, which is literally the worst possible thing that can happen. That is the truest statement in this entire little parable, but the next two are the ones that will keep your family living indoors: #
- First, reproduce the problem. If you can’t get it to fail on purpose, you cannot possibly know for sure if you fixed it.#
- Second, get a union. Just because an executive gets covered in shit doesn't mean you have to be the one to pay for it, every single fucking time. Sometimes, it's their own goddamn fault. There was that elk thing last year.... #